Subject: Good Ole' Vermont..  It's that time of year again

Dear Diary,

Aug. 1
Moved to our new home in  Vermont. It is so beautiful

here. The town is so picturesque. Can  hardly wait to see it
covered with snow. I LOVE IT HERE.

Oct.  14
New England is the most beautiful place on earth. The leaves are  turning
all different colors. I love the shades of red and orange. Went  for a
ride through the hills and saw some deer. They are so graceful.  Certainly
they are the most peaceful animals on earth. This must be  paradise. I
LOVE IT HERE.

Nov. 11
Deer season will open soon. I  can't imagine anyone wanting to kill such an
elegant creature. The very symbol  of peace and tranquility. Hope it will
snow soon. I LOVE IT  HERE.

Dec. 2
It snowed last night. Woke up to find  everything blanketed in white. It
looked like a postcard. Went outside  and cleaned snow off the steps

and shoveled the driveway. We had a  snowball fight today. (I won.) When
the snowplow came by we had to  shovel the driveway again. What a
beautiful place. Mother Nature  in perfect harmony. I LOVE IT HERE.

Dec. 12
More snow last  night. I love it. The snowplow did his trick again (that
rascal). A winter  wonderland. I LOVE IT HERE.

Dec. 19
Snowed again last night.  Couldn't get out of the driveway to get to work
this time. I'm exhausted from  shoveling. F**king Snowplow!

Dec. 22
More of that white shit  fell last night. I've got blisters on my
hands from shoveling. I think the  snowplow hides around the corner and
waits until I'm done shoveling. That  Asshole!

Dec. 25
"White Christmas" my busted ass. More f**king  snow. If I ever get my hands
on that son-of-a-bitch who drives that snowplow,  I swear I will castrate
the dumb bastard. Don't know why they don't use more  salt on this f**king
ice.

Dec. 28
More of the same shit last  night. Been inside since Christmas Day

except for when "Snowplow Harry" comes  by. Can't go anywhere. The car is
buried in a mountain of white shit. The  weatherman says expect another 10
inches of this shit tonight. Do you know how  many shovels full of snow 10
inches is?

Jan. 1
Happy F**king  New Year. The weatherman was wrong (AGAIN). We got 34
f**king inches of snow  this time. At this rate it won't melt until the 4th
of July. The snowplow got  stuck down the road and shit for brains had the
balls to come to the door and  ask to borrow my shovel. I told him I broke
6 shovels already, shoveling out  the shit he plowed into my driveway. I
broke the 7th shovel over his f**king  head.

Jan. 4
Finally got out of the house today. Went to the  store to get food and on
the way back a deer ran out in front of the car and I  hit the f**ker. Did
about $3,000.00 damage to the car. Wish the hunters would  have killed them
all last November.

May 3
Took the car to the  garage in town today. Would you believe the body
is rotting away from  all the f**king salt they keep dumping all over the
roads. It really looks  like a piece of shit.

May 10
Moved to Florida today. I can't  imagine why anyone in their right f**king
mind would want to live in the God  forsaken State of Vermont.