Christmas  Cookie Ingredients

1 cup of water
1 tsp. baking soda
1 cup of sugar
1 tsp salt
1 Cup of brown sugar
lemon juice
4 large eggs
1 cup nuts
2 cups dried fruit
1 bottle Bacardi Rum

Sample the Bacardi to check quality.  Take a large bowl, check the Bacardi again, to be sure it is of the highest quality.  Pour one level cup and drink.  Turn on the electric mixer...Beat on e cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl.  Add one teaspoon of sugar...Beat again.  At this point it's best to make sure the Bacardi is still OK, try another sip...just in case.  Turn of the mixerer thingy.  Break 2 leggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.  Pick the frigging fruit off floor...Mix on the turner.  If the fried druit gets stuck in the beatereres  just pry it loose with a drewscriver.  Sample the Bacardi to check for tonsisticity.  Next, sift two cups of salt, or something.  Who gives a shit?  Check the Bacardi.  Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts.  Add on somefink.  Whatever you can find.  Greash the oven.  Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over.  Don't forget to beat off the turner.  Finally, throw the bowl through the window, finish the Bacardi and make sure to put the stove in the dishwasher.

CHERRY MISTMAS