Snoring

 A couple has a dog who snores. Annoyed because she can't sleep, the wife
 goes to the vet to see if he can help. The vet tells the woman to tie a
 ribbon around the dog's testicles and he will stop snoring. "Yeah
 right!" she says.
 That night a few minutes after going to bed, the dog begins snoring, as
 usual. The wife tosses and turns, unable to sleep. Muttering to herself,
she
 goes to the closet and grabs a piece of red ribbon and ties it carefully
 around the dog's testicles. Sure enough, the dog stops
 snoring! The woman is amazed!
 Later that night, her husband returns home drunk from being out drinking
 with his buddies. He climbs into bed, falls asleep and begins
 snoring loudly. The woman thinks maybe the ribbon might work on him. So
 she goes to the closet again, grabs a piece of blue ribbon and ties it
 around her husband's testicles. Amazingly, it also works on him! The woman
 sleeps soundly.
 He wakes from his drunken stupor and stumbles into the bathroom. As he
 stands in front of the toilet, he glances in the mirror and sees a
 blue ribbon attached to his privates. He is very confused and as he walks
 back into the bedroom, he sees the red ribbon attached to his dog's
 testicles.
 He shakes his head and looks at the dog and whispers, "I don't know
 where we were, or, what we did, but, by God, we took first and second
 place!"