Dear Tide:
       I'm writing to say what an excellent product you have! I've used it
       since the beginning of my married life,  when my Mom told me it was the
       best

       Now that I am older and going through menopause, I find it even better!
       In fact, about a month ago, I spilled some red wine on my new white
       blouse. My unfeeling and uncaring husband started to berate me about how
       clumsy I was and generally started becoming a pain in the neck.

       One thing led to another and I ended up with a lot of his blood on my
       white blouse. I tried to get the stain out using a bargain detergent,
       but it just wouldn't come out. After a quick trip to the supermarket, I
       stopped and got a bottle of liquid Tide with bleach alternative, and to
       my surprise and satisfaction, all of the stains came out!

       In fact, the stains  came out so well, that some detectives who came
       by yesterday told me that the DNA tests were negative and my attorney
       said that I would no longer be considered a suspect!

       I thank you, once again, for having such a great product. Well, gotta
       go. I have to write a letter to the Hefty bag people...

       Signed,

       A relieved menopausal wife