A man walked into the produce section of his local supermarket, and asked
to buy half a head of lettuce.  The boy working in that department told him
that they only sold whole heads of lettuce.   The man was insistent that
the boy ask his manager about the matter.

Walking into the back room, the boy said to the manager, "Some asshole
wants to buy half a head of  lettuce" As he finished his sentence, he
turned to  find the man standing right behind him, so he added, "And this
gentleman kindly offered to buy the other
   half."

The manager approved the deal, and the man  went on his way.

Later the manager said to the boy, "I was impressed with the way you got
yourself out of that situation earlier. We like people  who think on their
feet here.

"Where are you from, son?"

"Texas, sir," the boy replied.

 "Well, why did you leave Texas?" the manager asked.

The boy said, "Sir, there's nothing but whores and  football players down
there."

"Really?" said the manager. "My wife is from Texas."

"No shit??" replied the boy. "Who'd she play for?"