Humor for January 18th, 2005

Submitted by VJ

14 Defining Characteristics of Fascism

 

Jesus is Watching You

A burglar broke into a house one night. He shone his flashlight
around, looking for valuables, and when he picked up a CD player to
place in his sack, a strange, disembodied voice echoed from the dark
saying, "Jesus is watching you".

He nearly jumped out of his skin, clicked his flashlight off and
froze. When he heard nothing more after a bit, he shook his head,
promised himself a vacation after the next big score, then clicked the
light back on and began searching for more valuables.

Just as he pulled the stereo out so he could disconnect the wires,
clear as a bell he heard, "Jesus is watching you". Totally rattled, he shone
his light around frantically, looking for the source of the voice.

Finally, in the corner of the room, his flashlight beam came to rest
on a parrot. "Did you say that?", he hissed at the parrot.

"Yes," the parrot confessed, then squawked, "I'm just trying to warn you."

The burglar relaxed. "Warn me, huh? Who do you think you are any way?"

"Moses," replied the bird.

"Moses" the burglar laughed. "What kind of stupid people would name a
parrot 'Moses'?"

The bird promptly answered: "The same kind of people that would name a 
Pit-bull 'Jesus'!"

Dec 2005 Jan 2006 April 2005 May 2005 June 2005 Sept 2005 Oct 2005 Nov 2005 March 2003 April 2003 May 2003 June 2003 July 2003 August 2003 Sept 2003 Oct 2003 Nov 2003 Dec 2003 Jan 2004 Feb 2004 March 2004 April 2004 May 2004 June 2004 July 2004 Aug 2004 Sept 2004 Oct 2004 Nov 2004 Dec 2004 Jan 2005 Feb 2005 March 2005