HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE ?

  ONE
  Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could
  have an order of 6, 9 or 12 so I asked for a half dozen nuggets.
  "We don't have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager at the counter.
  "You don't?" I replied.
  "We only have six, nine, or twelve," was the reply.
  "So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
  "That's right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.

  TWO
  The paragraph above doesn't amaze me because of what happened a
  couple of months ago I was checking out at the local Wal*Mart with just a
  few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to
  mine. I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep by the cash
  register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed.
  After th e girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the
  "Divider" looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
  Not finding the bar code she said to me, "Do you know how much this
  is?" I said to her "I've changed my mind, I don't think I'll buy that
  today." She said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left.
  She had no clue to what had just happened.

  THREE
  A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive
  and pulling it out very quickly.
  When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping
  on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she
  was using the ATM "thingy."

  FOUR
  I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car.
  "Do you need some help?" I asked.
  She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery to this
  remote door unlo cker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they
  (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit
  this?"
  "Hmmm, I dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked.
  "No, just this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and the car
  keys to me.
  As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, "Why
  don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long
  walk."

  FIVE
  Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day
  she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, "I'm almost out of
  typing paper.
  "What do I do?"
  "Just use copier machine paper," the secretary told her. With that,
  the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on
  the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank" copies.

  SIX
  I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large motor home was
  towed into the garage. The front of the vehicle was in dire need of
  repair and the whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister.
  " I asked the manager what had happened. He told me that the
  driver had set the "cruise control" and then went in the back to
  make a sandwich.

  SEVEN
  My neighbor works in the operations department in the central office
  of a large bank. Employees in the field call him when they have
  problems with their computers. One night he got a call from a woman
  in one of the branch banks who had this question: I've got smoke
  coming from the back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire
  downtown?"

  EIGHT
  Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a suspect by placing a
  metal colander on his head and connecting it with wires to a
  photocopy machine.< BR>  The message "He's lying" was placed in the copier, and police pressed
  the copy button each time they thought the suspect wasn't telling the
  truth. Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect
  confessed.

  "Life is tough. It's tougher if you're stupid."