SENIOR DRESS CODE

Many of us "old folks" (those hovering near 40, over 40, or WAY over 40) are
quite confused about how we should present ourselves.  We're unsure about
the kind of image we are projecting and whether or not we are correct as we
try to be hip and conform to the trends & fashions that designers in NYC,
California, &/or Paris inflict upon the world.   So a sincere study was
made of the situation and here are the results.  I don't want to burst your
bubble, but despite what you may have seen on the streets, the following
combinations DO NOT go together and thus should be avoided:

1. A nose ring and bifocals

2. Spiked hair and bald spots

3. A pierced tongue and dentures

4. Miniskirts and support hose

5. Ankle bracelets and corn pads

6. Speedos and cellulite

7. A belly button ring and a gall bladder surgery scar

8. Unbuttoned disco shirts and a heart monitor

9. Midriff shirts and a midriff bulge

10. Bikinis and liver spots

11. Short shorts and varicose veins

12. Inline skates and a walker

13. Thongs and Depends


Please keep these basic guidelines foremost in your mind when you shop.