Words of Wisdom

People who live in glass houses
should make love in the basement.

Never read the fine print.
There ain't no way
you're going to like it.

If you let a smile be your umbrella,
then most likely your butt will get soaking wet.

The only two things we do
with greater frequency
in middle age are
urinate and attend funerals.

The trouble with bucket seats
is that not everybody
has the same size bucket.

To err is human,
to forgive - highly unlikely

Do you realize that in about 40 years,
we'll have thousands of old ladies
running around with tattoos?

Money can't buy happiness --
but somehow it's more comfortable
to cry in a Porsche than in a Hyundai.

Drinking makes some husbands
see double and feel single..

Living in a nudist colony
takes all the fun out of Halloween.

After a certain age,
if you don't wake up aching in every joint,
you are probably dead.