IDIOTS IN SERVICE:
 
This week, our phones went dead and I had to contact the telephone
repair people.  They promised to be out between 8:00
a.m. and 7:00p.m.  When I asked if they could give me a smaller time
window, the pleasant gentleman asked, "Would you like
us to call you before we come?"  I replied that I didn't see how he
would be able to do that since our phones weren't working.
He also requested that we report future outages by email.  (Does YOUR
email work without a telephone line?).

IDIOTS AT WORK:
I was signing the receipt for my credit card purchase when the clerk
noticed I had never signed my name on the back of the
credit card.  She informed me that she could not complete the
transaction unless the card was signed.  When I asked why, she
explained that it was necessary to compare the signature I had just
signed on the receipt.  So I signed the credit card in front of
her.  She carefully compared the signature to the one I had just signed
on the receipt.  As luck would have it, they matched.

IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD:
I live in a semi-rural area.  We recently had a new neighbor call the
local township administrative office to request the removal
of the Deer Crossing sign on our road.  The reason: too many deer were
being hit by cars and she didn't want them to cross
there anymore.

IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE
My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco.  She asked the
person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He
said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.

IDIOT SIGHTING #1
I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee
asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage
without your knowledge?"  To which I replied, "If it was without my
knowledge, how would I know?"  She smiled knowingly
and nodded, "That's why we ask."

IDIOT SIGHTING #2
The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street.
I was crossing with a coworker of mine when she asked
if I knew what the buzzer was for.  I explained that it signals blind
people when the light is red.  Appalled, she responded,
"What on earth are blind people doing driving?"
IDIOT SIGHTING #3
At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who is leaving the
company due to "downsizing," our manager
commented cheerfully, "This is fun.  We should do this more often."  Not
a word was spoken.  We all just looked at each other
with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.

IDIOT SIGHTING #4
I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself
and for the life of her couldn't understand why her
system would not turn on.

IDIOT SIGHTING #5
When my husband and I arrived at an automobile dealership to pick up our
car, we were told the keys had been locked in it.
We went to the service department and found a mechanic working
feverishly to unlock the driver's side door.  As I watched
from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and
discovered that it was unlocked.  "Hey," I announced to the
technician, "it's open!"  To which he replied, "I know - I already got
that side."
Now don't you feel better