Inside every older person is a younger

 person -- wondering what the hell happened.

 -Cora Harvey Armstrong-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 The hardest years in life are

 those between ten and seventy.

 -Helen Hayes (at 73)-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 I refuse to think of them as chin

 hairs. I think of them as stray eyebrows.

 -Janette Barber-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 Things are going to get a lot worse

 before they get worse.

 -Lily Tomlin-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 A male gynecologist is like an auto

 mechanic who never owned a car.

 -Carrie Snow-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 Laugh and the world laughs with you.

 Cry and you cry with your girlfriends.

 -Laurie Kuslansky-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 My second favorite household chore is ironing.

 My first being, hitting my head on the

 top bunk bed until I faint.

 -Erma Bombeck-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 Old age ain't no place for sissies.

 -Bette Davis-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 A man's got to do what a man's got to do.

 A woman must do what he can't.

 -Rhonda Hansome-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 The phrase "working mother" is redundant.

 -Jane Sellman-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 Every time I close the door on reality

 it comes in through the windows.

 -Jennifer Unlimited-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 Whatever women must do they must do

 twice as well as men to be thought half

 as good. Luckily, this is not difficult.

 -Charlotte Whitton-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 Thirty-five is when you finally get your head

 together and your body starts falling apart.

 -Caryn Leschen-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 I try to take one day at a time, but

 sometimes several days attack me at once.

 -Jennifer Unlimited-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 If you can't be a good example, then you'll

 just have to be a horrible warning.

 -Catherine-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 When I was young, I was put in a

 school for retarded kids for two years

 before they realized I actually had a

 hearing loss. And they called ME slow!

 -Kathy Buckley-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 I'm not offended by all the dumb blonde

 jokes because I know I'm not

 dumb ... and I'm also not blonde.

 -Dolly Parton-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 If high heels were so wonderful, men

 would still be wearing them.

 -Sue Grafton-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 I'm not going to vacuum 'til Sears

 makes one you can ride on.

 -Roseanne Barr-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 When women are depressed they either eat

 or go shopping. Men invade another country.-Elayne Boosler-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 Behind every successful man is a surprised woman.

 -Maryon Pearson-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man-

 if you want anything done, ask a woman.

 -Margaret Thatcher-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 I have yet to hear a man ask for advice

 on how to combine marriage and a career.

 -Gloria Steinem-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 I am a marvelous housekeeper.

 Every time I leave a man I keep his house.

 -Zsa Zsa Gabor-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++

 Nobody can make you feel inferior

 without your permission.

 -Eleanor Roosevelt-

 ++++++++++++++++++++++++